Is everything the same

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Or Waterbreakers Will Cry Out Instead

today went to east coast park... people who went are joshua, wenhui, cheryl, celeste, marlon, zenda, claire, sam, jerald, preston, jon seow, and kezia [dont know who she is]

everytime somehow when i reached east coast... i just want to sit down somewhere at the beach, stare into the wide blue sea and think about nothing... "emo" if you wanna call it... i'm feeling damn tired lah.... not tired with my life and wanna commit suicide and all... but just physically exhausted to go through daily life... even just sitting down somewhere else is like an unconscious stress in me... so the smell of the breeze in east coast park just registers in my mind to tell me to relax... not that i like to "emo" lah... but i really just wanna sit down, keep the silent presence, both physically and mentally

i wanted to do that today... but today seemed too occupied for me to do just that... we had people who had spent some time and effort trying to settle us down to play mafia... it was damn screwed lah... dont know how joshua do the game mastering one... lol... after that we tried to play "actionary"... a game like u're given a word and u've gotta act it out without uttering a word and make your group guess the word... that one was kinda fun... at least it kept us occupied and bonded with your minds rolling and stuff

and today also... i've gotten some news that i aint particularly very pleased about... usually if people talk to me about personal stuffs or whatosever... depending on individual cases... i will consider their words with a certain pinch of salt... then over time i'll see what i can do about it... but this news i had i doubt even if i dried up the ocean and collect the salt wouldn't be enough for me to pinch... wth... dont put words in my mouth cause they aint as sweet as you think... to think i could be of help somehow when you need me there to be a listening ear and to cool you down in times of uncontrollable temper... i hate backstabbers... it's okay if you dont want my friendly offer... i have other things to care about

and today also... i aint very pleased that i've got left in and out and in and out... both in the physical sense or in the mental sense... actually i had plans to hang out with other people who treat and knows me better... but time and time again when you guys planned certain outings i had to reject the other offer... yet i get in return fluctuating emotions and doubtful insecurities... often when these two plans crash i have difficulty directing myself in the cross road... but i hope to get the best day out of whichever road i choose... cause i still wanna keep the friends that i'm having right now... i love my friends and i dont wanna exchange them for any others

-jack'al

spoken adhesives at 22:29

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Life's Reflection

in life we always try to run so fast and run so strong
but when it gets cold and it feels like the end
i just wanna forget about everything and runaway
against my will i stand aside my own reflection