Is everything the same

Monday, December 17, 2007

this guilt breaks the silence in me

Jack'al is uber fed up contemplating contemplation... is needing to vent it out.

there has been this fellow that i looked highly upon... regarded him as a mentor... but recently... this mentality is starting to subside... this is because it has recently dawned upon me that this fellow isnt as good as i thought... but this could have came a little too late... cause the higher i thought of him... at a greater height i would fall... and that's exactly what happened... though a few incidents have made me contemplate about this... but this one somehow came upon me as a confirmation

this fellow has been comparing me with one other brother, which i regarded as a very good friend... but just that in his action, he has been siding more towards this other friend... giving good comments... praising him in public... a lot... so much so it made me felt left out and of a minority... and yet he mentioned that both of us may grow up to become rivalries... you know what i think... i think we would never have become rivalries if he havent been doing what'cha doing

i dont know if he was just trying to whip up some kind of conversation to kick start the group with... or just been freaking bored... or just feeling uneasy being quiet... or just trying to knock some sense into me... or just showing favoritism... or just simply being f^^king childish or whatsoever 'piss' of shit... but i suggest he had kept his mouth shut rather than at the expense of the feelings of others... cause he is tickling me until i'm gonna burst right before his face... this other friend and i have been getting along quite well... and where cometh this rivalry business... thanks a lot lor... *rolls eyeballs*

honestly speaking... i'm just feeling ultra insecure... and pretty much provoked by this seemingly small deed... or is it just because i'm being too sensitive... or depending and looking too much to man's flesh

and here's a little footnote... something that i had learnt and i think this fellow ought to learn it as well... fast

DON'T TALK UNLESS YOU CAN IMPROVE ON THE SILENCE!

PS: i wanna run back to my Abba's arms

by the way... was doing monitor for 3rd and 4th service last sunday... cause Melvyn, as usual, couldnt make it... nothing much to say... that's to post a few pictures i took... the PM5D which seems to me quite gloriously lit... and Cliff on the drums cause Winston is sick... and Cliff is playing uber loud, but alongside with his creative style... nonetheless, nice

spoken adhesives at 10:44

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Life's Reflection

in life we always try to run so fast and run so strong
but when it gets cold and it feels like the end
i just wanna forget about everything and runaway
against my will i stand aside my own reflection