Is everything the same

Thursday, February 21, 2008

the horizon shows the sign

on saturday... as usual had dare service since it was the third saturday of the month... however... it is indeed from glory to glory... cause this dare service was slightly different from other dare services... that is a change in location... to ROCK AUDITORIUM!!... haha... it was quite of a headache on the planning part... we have been communicating via email... and just so happened it was chinese new year season... so when i wanna reply an email... i always get the "out-of-office" reply since the church office is closed for chinese new year

so after a few instructions from Peer, our DARE Ops head, and discussing with Jason, our new full-time sound engineer... we came to a conclusion regarding servers' assignment... that is Mjay to run FOH for both DARE and Arrow, then I will run Monitor, for both also... since Mjay voiced out that it has been some time since he last did FOH... so i thought to just let him run lor, no harm what... on the not-so-happy part, i was kinda frustrated that DARE is once again on their hard-n-fuzz mode... when i was discussing with Peer, Peer was being very strict that all DARE servers are to be on the observing mode and to watch arrow servers run the whole operations... it was only when i voiced out that Jason is having some difficulty roping in experienced arrow servers, and that i was trained in Monitor for main service before... then Peer was a little easier on me... but still strong on if there was an experienced arrow server, i will have to hands-off and let him run Monitor... i was thinking, "wassup manz!"

on sunday... was running FOH again... first service was bad... and Lionel had to come down and fix this fix that... haiz... however... there was a thing or two that i feel unhappy about... i just feel a little cheated lah... it's like that sunday, and for the past few sundays as well... Lionel has been saying, "my mix sucks... my mix sucks"... over and over again... sunday after sunday... but that sunday, deacon jack came down to FOH and listened to the sound... i think it was 3rd service walkout... and deacon jack actually commented that my mix had improved a lot since my first day mixing... it's like with the position and respect that deacon jack has, and himself being very particular about music and sound ministry... him speaking is as though God is speaking lor... figuratively lah... and for quite some time, I've been having this angel-devil thingy in my head

on monday... it seems that all mondays since the start of this year... monday has been like a hospital stay day for me... cause often monday i feel very tired and very moody over all that happened on sunday... it's like sunday running FOH is like being in a warzone... a warzone that i always seem to be the receiving end of all the bullets and grenades... so i get injured on a sunday and get admitted and stay in a hospital on the monday... sometimes it really leads me to think... yes... as a server, we should be putting in our utmost effort to bring the best in what we do to the congregation... and on the server, serving should be something refreshing, something fulfilling and satisfactory... because we serve because He first served us... but for me, serving has been something burdensome, worrysome, draining... this is so wrong... i'm feeling confused =(

btw... on tuesday... i got my jae posting results... praise God... i got into my first choice... integrated events and project management @ singapore poly... however... i'm appealing to go into my second choice instead... hospitality and resort management @ nanyang poly... cause i'm feeling that that gives me a more promising future... hehe

ok that's about it... thank God i aint mixing at FOH this sunday again... i really need a break from this warzone thing... i'm running out of medicine and bandages already... sobz... i'm speechless

spoken adhesives at 10:28

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Life's Reflection

in life we always try to run so fast and run so strong
but when it gets cold and it feels like the end
i just wanna forget about everything and runaway
against my will i stand aside my own reflection