'CAUSE:I:AM:ME
Name: Koh Wen Hui Jack
Nick: Jack'al
Age: 16++
Height: 167cm
Weight: 47kg
Citizenship: Singaporean
Occupation: Student
Religion: Christianity
School: Nanyang Polytechnic
Church: NewCreation Church
Affiliation: DARE [Youth Ministry of NewCreation Church], Sound Ministry
Hobby: Sound-engineering, Drumming, Cycling/Blading, Hanging out, Music, Slacking
Books: [which part of me tells you i'm a bookworm]
Movies: [comedy, action] scary movie 4, mr. bean's holiday, rush hour 3, ghost rider, ratatouille, evan almighty
Music: [christian, rock] NewCreation Church Band, Hillsongs, Bon Jovi, Skillet, Dream Theatre, Evanescence, Funeral For A Friend, Killswitchh Engage, The Red-Jumpsuit ApparatusThe All-American Rejects
MSN: dare2serve_christ@hotmail.com
URL: [where u're at now] http://distortrified.blogspot.com & http://distortrified.multiply.com
Friendster: http://www.friendster.com/distortrify
Most of all, I'm the beloved child of the most high God being embraced in the BIG Arms of my Loving Jesus!
He loves me wif His everlasting love...
He clothed me wif His robe of righteousness...
He comforts me wif His unshakeable peace...
He pours out His abundant favor & grace upon me
He blesses me according 2 His riches in Heaven...
He keeps me safe under the shadow of His wings...
All for love a Savior prayed :: Let the cross draw man to You
Salvation is here :: Cause You are alive and You live in me
When I see Him smile :: I can do anything
Thursday, August 21, 2008
reminiscence... gone
this morning when i just awoke and was still subconscious on my bed... a flashback came into memory... more than 10 years back
i still remembered when i was very young, 4 or 5 years old... i have been loving and hanging around my sister a lot... i would follow her wherever she goes, except to the toilet and to school... i listen to her and she play with me... i really enjoyed her company... and i was so radically being with her until a point my mum got a bit jealous... don't know whether serious or play play one... once my mum told me, "why you always follow your sister around one? she actually dont like you one leh"... at first i didnt believe... i went to ask my sister, who was watching the tv, if it was true... then my sister being kinda engrossed on the tv, replied, "ya lah, ya lah"... darn i was stricken-ed with much hurt and disappointment... that i went to one corner of the house and be in the state of "emo"... since then i didnt follow my sister around as much as i did... but nonetheless, i still enjoyed her presence
in my family... i sometimes get along with my dad... i sometimes get along with my mum... i never get along with both of them at the same time... and i definitely had times when i get along with none of them... as for my brother, definitely not getting along... probably the fact that elder brothers tend to pick on their younger brother... and now that's left with my sister... which i get along with a lot
she has since also been a source of delight and encouragement to me... for example she would, most of the time, listen to me, and then give me advice and/or help me convey and negotiate with my parents certain things... or for another instance, there was a time i was being physically abused by my dad for a while... she was there to console me... if not for her, i dont know what i would have done or become then... and on other instances, she have been the one supporting me for most of the decisions i made... joining sound ministry was one of the them... and while doing so, she actually helped to convince my parents that it would be alright for me to serve in church... or else God knows how much noise they would make... and thus far, i have been blessed by that decision i made and the support she gave
but looking back... those are nothing... but gone
the pictures are not as rosy as before... i only get along with my parents on and off... i dont get along with my brother... and now even my sister has forsaken me... recently... there was once i rode my brother's bicycle from bedok to simei to deliver some goods to her... they were so heavy, even that short cycling journey caused me much perspiration and energy... when i finally reached my sister's place, i was in a pathetic state... but what do i get in return... i actually forgot one small thing because of the rush (i had school after that)... and she got fed up and stuff... she said things like, if i had forgotten all the rest but brought that one thing, it wouldnt have been so bad... and at the point, i was like "thanks a lot, b****, for all that hard effort i've put in"
and another instance... just yesterday she came over to my place for a while... and i happened to be conversing with my mother about holidays and pocket money... but before that, we had some prior conversations a few days ago... and my sister, probably not knowing the full picture, started telling me off that i was rude to my mum or what... and that i didnt tell mum the full information that led to the miscommunication... that was seriously agitating me... and these were only a few... things like being inconsiderate to parents and rude were common things she always fault me
and now that leaves me to get along with nobody in the family... so i dont talk much in the family... i'm probably closer to my friends than my family... how i'd look at other families... they have gathering time in the family... they can talk freely and openly, have fun and laughter among each other... they have family holidays... honestly i feel darn jealous... but what to do... i'm here now... with all the emotional hurt and deprivation
i still remembered when i was very young, 4 or 5 years old... i have been loving and hanging around my sister a lot... i would follow her wherever she goes, except to the toilet and to school... i listen to her and she play with me... i really enjoyed her company... and i was so radically being with her until a point my mum got a bit jealous... don't know whether serious or play play one... once my mum told me, "why you always follow your sister around one? she actually dont like you one leh"... at first i didnt believe... i went to ask my sister, who was watching the tv, if it was true... then my sister being kinda engrossed on the tv, replied, "ya lah, ya lah"... darn i was stricken-ed with much hurt and disappointment... that i went to one corner of the house and be in the state of "emo"... since then i didnt follow my sister around as much as i did... but nonetheless, i still enjoyed her presence
in my family... i sometimes get along with my dad... i sometimes get along with my mum... i never get along with both of them at the same time... and i definitely had times when i get along with none of them... as for my brother, definitely not getting along... probably the fact that elder brothers tend to pick on their younger brother... and now that's left with my sister... which i get along with a lot
she has since also been a source of delight and encouragement to me... for example she would, most of the time, listen to me, and then give me advice and/or help me convey and negotiate with my parents certain things... or for another instance, there was a time i was being physically abused by my dad for a while... she was there to console me... if not for her, i dont know what i would have done or become then... and on other instances, she have been the one supporting me for most of the decisions i made... joining sound ministry was one of the them... and while doing so, she actually helped to convince my parents that it would be alright for me to serve in church... or else God knows how much noise they would make... and thus far, i have been blessed by that decision i made and the support she gave
but looking back... those are nothing... but gone
the pictures are not as rosy as before... i only get along with my parents on and off... i dont get along with my brother... and now even my sister has forsaken me... recently... there was once i rode my brother's bicycle from bedok to simei to deliver some goods to her... they were so heavy, even that short cycling journey caused me much perspiration and energy... when i finally reached my sister's place, i was in a pathetic state... but what do i get in return... i actually forgot one small thing because of the rush (i had school after that)... and she got fed up and stuff... she said things like, if i had forgotten all the rest but brought that one thing, it wouldnt have been so bad... and at the point, i was like "thanks a lot, b****, for all that hard effort i've put in"
and another instance... just yesterday she came over to my place for a while... and i happened to be conversing with my mother about holidays and pocket money... but before that, we had some prior conversations a few days ago... and my sister, probably not knowing the full picture, started telling me off that i was rude to my mum or what... and that i didnt tell mum the full information that led to the miscommunication... that was seriously agitating me... and these were only a few... things like being inconsiderate to parents and rude were common things she always fault me
and now that leaves me to get along with nobody in the family... so i dont talk much in the family... i'm probably closer to my friends than my family... how i'd look at other families... they have gathering time in the family... they can talk freely and openly, have fun and laughter among each other... they have family holidays... honestly i feel darn jealous... but what to do... i'm here now... with all the emotional hurt and deprivation
spoken adhesives at 06:29
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